There Is Life Outside The Apartment
by LuckyxLabradoodlexLoverx7
Summary: AU:  Roger is going through withdrawal, so Mark tries to get him to go outside.  Set to the song There Is Life Outside Your Apartment from the musical, Avenue Q.  oneshot.  Rated M for language.


Disclaimer - I own nothing of the song There Is Life Outside Your Apartment or RENT. Both belong to their respected owners. 'Nuff said.

_**Italics **_are song lyrics

A/N: I was listening to the song TILOYA and thought that it would make a funny story.

A/N 2 - The RENT characters & the Avenue Q characters: Mark - Brian. Roger - Princeton. Maureen - Christmas Eve. Mimi - Lucy. Collins - Nicky & Trekkie Monster.

Summary: AU: Roger is going through withdrawal, so Mark tries to get him to go outside. Set to the song There Is Life Outside Your Apartment from the musical, Avenue Q. one-shot. Rated M for language.

Genre: Humor/Parody

Rating: M

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"Roger!" Mark called into the loft.

"Yeah?" Roger called back. He was sitting on the couch, a small notebook in his lap.

"Listen, buddy, nobody's seen you for two weeks. What's up with that?" Mark asked, sitting down on the chair next to the couch.

"I went to work for a temp agency, and they fired me for being too depressing on the phone. I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind in rent, I totally messed up my personal life. Oh, and Mark - I still haven't found my purpose!" Roger ranted, slamming the notebook shut.

"All right. Get off your ass and stop worrying! Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today." Mark told his friend, pulling his sleeve, but it was no use.

"Have fun." Roger said. Mark rolled his eyes and pulled his friend off the couch with great difficulty.

"When I say everyone, that includes you!" Mark said. Then he burst into song.

"_There is life outside the apartment  
I know it's hard to conceive  
There is life outside the apartment  
And you're only gonna see it if you leave_

_There is cool shit to do  
But it can't come to you  
And who knows, dude  
You might even score_

_There is life outside the apartment.  
But you gotta open the door._"

"No thanks, I'm staying in." Roger said, sitting down in the chair next to the couch and got out his guitar. Mark put his guitar away and helped the rocker up.

"Don't tell me I gotta force you." Mark said.

"Sorry." Roger apologized.

"All right, everyone! He's resisting!" Mark called. Collins and Maureen entered the loft, singing.

"_There is life outside…  
There is life outside….  
There is life outside…  
There is life outside the apartment_"

"_There's a pigeon squashed on the street._" Collins announced.

"Ew." Maureen said. All of them had gotten Roger outside. It was a beautiful day - the sun was shining and the birds were singing.

"_There's a girl passing by._" Mark sang, motioning to a girl in white tights, a bobbed black wig, a short teal skirt and a teal tank top.

"_No, I think it's a guy._" Collins sang, wolf-whistling at the guy/girl passing by. He turned around and smiled at Collins.

"_And a homeless man  
Who only wants to  
Buy something to eat._" Everyone sang except Roger.

"Sorry, can't help you." Maureen said.

"We could go to the zoo." Mark suggested.

"Pick up guys and girls at NYU." Collins put in.

"We could sit in the park smoking pot." Roger spoke up.

"Or not." Maureen argued.

"_There is life outside the apartment._" Everyone except Roger sang.

"_Well, I guess I'll give it a shot._" Roger sang. Mark smiled and put an arm around Roger's shoulders.

"_There is life outside the apartment.  
I know- Christ!  
There is life outside the apartment._" They all sang. Roger looked up at one of the buildings and saw a woman was about to jump.

"I'm gonna jump!" the woman said.

"Don't do it!" they all told her.

"Okay." She said and disappeared from view.

"_There is cool shit to do  
But it can't come to you  
So come on-_" they all sang, crossing the street. A taxi stopped right in front of Roger.

"Get out of the way asshole!" the driver shouted at Roger.

"Fuck you!" Roger shouted back and gave him the finger before heading across the street to join his friends.

"_There is life outside the apartment  
Oh, you never know  
What's around the bend.  
You could win the lotto  
Or make a friend…_" they all sang as a beautiful Hispanic girl walked in front of them. She was wearing a red dress that showed off her beautiful figure.

"_Take her home to see the apartment._" Mark and Collins sang as the girl walked over to them. Roger recognized her as the singer from the Around the Clock Café - Mimi the Whore.

"_Do you wanna feel special?  
I can see that you do  
Well, I can make you feel  
Special.  
If you let me feel you._" she sang, walking over to Roger.

"_She'll feel you._" Mark and Collins crooned. Mimi slipped her hand in Roger's.

"Where's your pad?" she whispered in his ear.

"Not too far." he told her, looking over his shoulder at his friends.

"_We could call you a car._" Mark and Collins sang.

"We'll be fine, thank you! See ya!" Roger called as he and Mimi ran to the apartment.

"Hope you don't get gonorrhea!" Roger heard Maureen call after him and Mimi.

"_There is life outside the apartment._" Everyone except Roger and Mimi sang.

"_But now it's time to go home._" Roger and Mimi sang, climbing up the stairs to Roger's loft.

"_There is life outside the apartment._" Everyone sang.

"_I'm going home now._" Collins sang.

"_It's time to go home._" Roger and Mimi sang.

"_That's where I'm gonna go!_" Collins sang.

"_I can make you feel special._" Mimi sang as she and Roger entered the loft. They instantly went to Roger's room and made love.

"_That's where I'm gonna go._" Collins sang, walking into the loft that he shared with Mark and Roger. Maureen and Mark had headed back to Maureen's apartment.

"_There is life outside the apartment._" everyone sang.

"_I'm going home now, that's where I'm gonna go._" Collins sang.

"_But now it's time to go home._" Roger and Mimi sang, still making love.

"_For porn._" Collins sang.

Roger had to admit he was happy that Mark and the others had gotten him out of the loft. If the gang hadn't gotten him out, he would've never met Mimi and spent three hours making love to her.

The gang was right - there _was_ life outside the loft.

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A/N 3: like it? love it? hate it? review it!

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